Why Sharing Really Matters

My husband is terrible at sharing.  I am not throwing him under the bus. It's true and he’ll tell you as much.  He doesn't like sharing food off his plate.  He refuses to share his tools. And, although he will eventually hand over a sweatshirt when I ask to borrow it, he sends a pointed ‘you better give this back… or else’ look my way, every time.

And, I get it. He’s been burned before. Borrowed tools never came back or, worse yet, arrived home broken and unusable. And then there was the time that his favorite sweatshirt showed up months later in *my* closet.

Sharing isn’t simply handing over an object. It takes a lot of trust and respect. You have to believe that you are going to get the thing you shared back. Okay, nobody wants shared food back, but ultimately, sharing is a relationship trust fall.  

And we ask our toddlers to take that bet with random strangers they just met at their weekly playgroup. 

We require them to hand over toys at daycare and preschool to other kids who have ripped toys out of their hand before. 

We tell them that brothers and sisters are supposed to share because it’s the nice thing to do. 

But here’s the bottom line…

You cannot just expect them to know how to do it. 

It’s a skill-set that you need to teach them and then, create opportunities to practice, without the unreasonable expectation that they’ll get it right every time.

In the episode Teaching Toddlers to Share - Do's, Dont's and Why it Matters, I dive into why sharing really matters, what it really is, and the skills your child truly needs in order to initiate the act of sharing with another child.

Cara Tyrrell, M.Ed is mom to three girls, a Vermont based Early Childhood Educator, Collaborative Parenting Coach, and the founder of Core4Parenting. She is the passionate mastermind behind the Collaborative Parenting Methodology™, a birth-to-five, soul and science based framework that empowers toddler parents and educators  to turn tantrums into teachable moments. Through keynotes, teacher training, and her top-ranking podcast, Transforming the Toddler Years, she’s teaching the 5 Executive Functioning Skills kids need to navigate our ever-changing world.