Time Outs vs Time Ins

How often do you get caught in the trigger trap reaction cycle? It’s so easy to do and hard to break out of! 

Reactions are live-time, high emotion, frustration point solutions. They're short lived, and you have to repeat them over and over and over. And, they often lead to punitive discipline, meaning timeouts, time in’s, cozy corners, or whatever you call them in your house. 

When my girls were little, we had the naughty step. Do not ask me where that name came from!  I have no idea. In fact, it's likely that one of the girls named it because when they needed space to sit and calm down they were asked to move to the bottom step of the hallway stairs.

The naughty step did NOT work for Claire. Neither did 123 Magic, or any of the other supposedly magical solutions that were offered to me. 

Meanwhile they all worked wonders with Caroline. The mere mention of an ‘invitation to sit’ had her stopping reassessing and making some different choices because sitting there felt really uncomfortable to her. 

Which begs the question, what are these away spaces truly meant for? 

Contrary to the generational parenting handbook you’ve been given, they are NOT for manipulating your kids into doing what you want. They shouldn’t be a threatened outcome for their choices.

“If you don’t _________ (fill in the blank with what you want) then I’m putting you in timeout”

They're meant to put literal distance between your child and their current struggle.

They are meant to give your child a space so that they can come back to center and regain their calm. 

They’re a short time away from you and the triggering environment before you come back together and team up to process what just happened. 

Without judgmental questions (Why did you do that?) or asking them to promise perfect behavior (Promise you’ll never do that again?). 

Episode 71, Time Out vs. Time In? What's the Difference and How Gentle Parents Use Them, unpacks all of this for you so that you can get a better idea of how to use time away as a way to teach your child how to understand their triggers and adopt self regulation strategies. 

Teaching you how to use Collaborative Discipline so that, with your support, your little one can exit the trigger trap reaction cycle and reset themselves without a major meltdown. 

In Module 5 of my Transforming the Toddler Years course, I teach you my gentle, post time away processing conversation that helps your kids make better choices next time.

Not because you want them to but because they’ve had had a mini self-evolution and they want to!

The course is a hybrid experience blending my Collaborative Parenting Curriculum, your new soul-mate mama community, and live-time, personalized coaching. 

Are you and your kiddo struggling too?  Are you are looking to take your conscious parenting journey to the next level and embrace my Collaborative Parenting Methodology(™)?

Get on my calendar for a complimentary connection call. I’ll listen to your current challenges and we can decide if we're a good match to work together so you can reclaim the joy and fun of parenting as we transform your toddler years! 

Cara Tyrrell, M.Ed is mom to three girls, a Vermont based Early Childhood Educator, Collaborative Parenting Coach, and the founder of Core4Parenting. She is the passionate mastermind behind the Collaborative Parenting Methodology™, a birth-to-five, soul and science based framework that empowers toddler parents and educators  to turn tantrums into teachable moments. Through keynotes, teacher training, and her top-ranking podcast, Transforming the Toddler Years, she’s teaching the 5 Executive Functioning Skills kids need to navigate our ever-changing world.