The #1 Skill Your Toddler Needs to be Successful

I sat on the floor, face to face with an 18 month old little boy. He was trying to put a circle shaped toy into a square shaped hole.

He tried again and again and again, and it wouldn't fit.  

Frustration strained his face. His hands gripped tightly around the little circle. He tried many times, then finally started banging it and yelling at it to try to make it fit.

He looked up at me and I could tell he was about to meltdown. It would have been oh so easy to take the toy and do for him just get a smile instead of the tears that were so close to coming.

Instead I stayed calm and said, “Wow, that looks really hard. It’s not working. You are trying to put a circle shaped toy in a square spaced hole.” Then, pointing to the right opening I said, “How about trying this one?”

He moved the toy over and let go.

And the moment it fell in and he heard it drop to the bottom, his entire being changed.  

He sat up straight. His eyes got wide. His mouth is a tiny little, shocked ‘O’. 

He was experiencing a moment of true achievement. And I could not have ever done that for him.

I showed him that he could do hard things.

That to try and fail and try again is the greatest skill we possess. 

He locked eyes with me to share his moment and we celebrated!

I smiled and said to him, “You did it.  You did it all by yourself. You must feel so proud.”

What’s the skill that everyone’s talking about that kids need to be successful? 

It’s the skill that goes by many names: perseverance, persistence, determination, intrinsic motivation to success, or the current buzzword: grit. 

Raising kids who believe they can accomplish big things starts here. 

We cannot make the world easy for them. It’s not an easy world to live in. 

Raising gritty kids who dig deep and persevere is how you raise humans to be their best selves and doing their most impactful and rewarding work in life. 

 For the last few months I have been working with middle schoolers and high schoolers, teenagers between the ages of 13 and 18, and I'm worried for them.  They do not have this skill.  They want everything to be easy and perfect the first time.  They feel deep shame,  frustration and overwhelm when it doesn't go their way. 

I'm doing my absolute best to show up and help them redesign their mindset  and practice these skills to feel a sense of achievement so they can move forward.  

Your kids are still little and you have an amazing opportunity to arm your child with this skill from infancy, through toddlerhood and into the preschool years!

Listen to How to Raise Resilient Kids. My #1 Strategy  where I discuss raising resilient kids, who can step into the uncomfortable and rise above. 

Cara Tyrrell, M.Ed is mom to three girls, a Vermont based Early Childhood Educator, Collaborative Parenting Coach, and the founder of Core4Parenting. She is the passionate mastermind behind the Collaborative Parenting Methodology™, a birth-to-five, soul and science based framework that empowers toddler parents and educators  to turn tantrums into teachable moments. Through keynotes, teacher training, and her top-ranking podcast, Transforming the Toddler Years, she’s teaching the 5 Executive Functioning Skills kids need to navigate our ever-changing world.