Mindfully Managing Your Emotions While CoParenting

She did it. This is what my husband says. 

People say, “Oh my gosh, you have such amazing kids”, and he smiles, points his finger at me and says “She did it. It’s because of her” 

He’s right. I did the bulk of the childrearing, adopting the role of mother, safety officer, therapist, goal setter, emotions soother, natural consequence enforcer, and teacher. 

But he’s also wrong. 

The fact that our girls grew into astounding adults is also due to his choices. 

Not because he stepped up and was the father of the year every day, but because he stepped down and let me do what I knew best. 

I embarked on a journey of conscious, collaborative parenting with each girl based on who they are, what they needed in that moment, while teaching them to honor their sense of self and practice real-world skills they needed to grow in every phase and stage of their life. 

I’m the one with the early childhood education background and innate social psychology instincts. 

All he had was his childhood experiences as a model and that mimicking it would not be a healthy journey for his girls. He also knew that he didn’t know any other way.

And so he defered to me in a million acts of co-parenting by choosing NOT to interfere with my methodology. We maintained a united front, even when he disagreed with my strategies, even when he couldn’t understand my reasoning.

He saved our girls from the ‘but mom says / dad says’ confusion and gave them the gift of consistency through compromise.

I love him for this in ways he’ll never truly understand. 

This is my co-parenting story and I’ve been married for 23 years and counting, yet you likely associate the word with how parents navigate raising kids after a separation of divorce.

Whether you’re a single mama, separated, divorced, or married but often feel like a single parent – this episode is for you. 

Because find me two people, married or not, that are on exactly the same page – all the time – and I'll call them out. 

The way your partner sees, feels, and experiences the journey of parenting is uniquely different than the way you do. Partly as a measure of how they were parented and partly due to how focused, intentional and present they have a desire to be in their current parenting reality.

Co-parenting is something we all do. Whether we are married to the person we're parenting with, or not.

It’s for those of you who find yourself having to hold your ground on a daily basis for the sake of your children so that they can continue their journey towards who they are meant to be without getting caught in the crossfire of a co parenting mess.

Honestly, I learned so much about myself including my eternal gratitude for his early sacrifice every time I’m reminded by his smile, pointed finger and the words, “She did it.” 

🎧Listen to the conversation I had with Erica Bennett where she shares her journey of finding a way to manage her emotions from a mindful place of self-advocacy as co-parented with her ex-husband.

Cara Tyrrell, M.Ed is mom to three girls, a Vermont based Early Childhood Educator, Collaborative Parenting Coach, and the founder of Core4Parenting. She is the passionate mastermind behind the Collaborative Parenting Methodology™, a birth-to-five, soul and science based framework that empowers toddler parents and educators  to turn tantrums into teachable moments. Through keynotes, teacher training, and her top-ranking podcast, Transforming the Toddler Years, she’s teaching the 5 Executive Functioning Skills kids need to navigate our ever-changing world.