Fostering Body Positivity From Birth

“Those pants don't really do you any justice.”

My (then) best friend said this to me as we were getting ready to go out dancing for the night. 

I was 18 years old and had spent adolescence and young adulthood hating my body. I self described as “big-boned” and wondered aloud, so my mom was sure to hear me, why I got my dad's genetics instead of my hers.

She could wear pencil skirts. I could not. 

Empire waistlines were my best friend and I killed in the poodle skirt for the 1950’s/60’s school dance. 

But honestly, looking back, I wasn’t overweight. I was very proportional for my body but I just couldn't see it, or more importantly, feel it, because how we feel inside our bodies is so much more important than how we look. 

Generational media holds up a worldly mirror with the current definition of ‘pretty’. 

Friends look different than us and can eat anything they want without consequence while I told everyone who would listen (hint: here’s one of my childhood belief systems) “All I have to do is LOOK at a chocolate cake and I gain a pound.” 

And our parents tell us how beautiful we are, no matter what, but no matter how hard we try we just don’t see what they do.

As mamas, we know this level of awareness and confidence is hard to master and often doesn’t gel until well into our adulthood (or after multiple births with all manner of visitors in the room) 

And some of us fight our body-image demons for our whole lives, carrying childhood stories with us as unflappable truths.

That’s why when my kids were little I knew I needed to be incredibly conscientious about the words I chose and the tone I used when having body image conversations with my girls.

Healthy does not mean skinny was the story I chose to embed in their young psyche.

You are healthy no matter what shape or size your body take as you grow up.

Raising kids with a positive image of their body and detaching that image from their identity was really important to me. 

It’s easy to protect your kids from the world when they are tiny and haven’t a hormone or hip dip in sight.

But from the moment they step out into the world, as early as preschool, Kindergarten, and first grade, they are making meaning of what other people look like, observing themselves and other, and starting to compare. 

They need you there to help them write the positive body image story from the toddler years, and that’s why I invited Rennie Dybal to be a guest. Her story of being shamed by her child for having a 'jiggly belly' and what she did next is truly inspiring! 

Listen to episode 64 Raising Body-Positive Kids with Rennie Dyball below!

Cara Tyrrell, M.Ed is mom to three girls, a Vermont based Early Childhood Educator, Collaborative Parenting Coach, and the founder of Core4Parenting. She is the passionate mastermind behind the Collaborative Parenting Methodology™, a birth-to-five, soul and science based framework that empowers toddler parents and educators  to turn tantrums into teachable moments. Through keynotes, teacher training, and her top-ranking podcast, Transforming the Toddler Years, she’s teaching the 5 Executive Functioning Skills kids need to navigate our ever-changing world.