Ep. 4 What is a Parenting GPS? (And Why You Need One!)

Today we're talking about a concept that is near and dear to my heart, and it's deep inside the methodology here at Core 4 Parenting.  It's a concept that I created called the Parenting GPS.  Let me tell you a little story before we get started with how this applies to parenting.  A few years ago, my husband said, “We're going on a family trip and we're going to go down the coast of Maine step by step”. Sounds amazing. So I, of course, ran to get my atlas. I ran to Google Maps. I got my best erasable pencil with its finest point and got planning.  And he stopped me in my tracks and said, “Nope, we're not doing that this time”.  I was a little bit terrified.  How do we take a family trip without planning where we're going?

And he said, “Cara, we get to plan one thing and that is exactly where we're going. We will pick the furthest most location in Maine that we're going to go to. Start there. And then there's no more planning. We will drive down the coast. Stop where we wanna stop. Stay where we want to stay. We're gonna make better memories that way”.

Let me tell you, putting my Type A predictable organized plan to the side, which by the way calms me, was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but he was 100 percent right. The trip was amazing. We saw things we never would have seen. We made memories we never would have made. Things that are talked about to this day, including the not so great ones like the hotel room that ended up being a tiny cabin with walls so flimsy that we basically were all in one space.

So much fun created by a long term goal, and then we literally worked our way backwards.

And that is what a parenting GPS is. 

It's your longest goal, your furthest away destination for raising the person that you have a deep desire to raise.

And then we work our way backwards. 

So how do you set a parenting GPS?

Stay with me. This is a really fun exercise.  Look at the little person you have today. Maybe they're still growing inside you. Perhaps you're holding a newborn or an infant or chasing a toddler or running around after your preschooler. I don't know how old your kids are, but it works no matter what. Look at your person, this human being that you brought onto the world.

See them for who they are, how they are, what they look like and sound like today.  Now blink your eyes and picture them at 25 years old, just like that. They're all grown up.  They are done with school. They've just graduated from college or from traveling or whatever their journey to self discovery was for them.

And they landed their first real world, big time job. They've been working there three weeks, about a month.  And you run in to their boss down at the local coffee shop. And that boss makes the effort to come over to talk to you. “Oh my gosh. You're Joey's mom, aren't you? You're Laura's mom. I had to come over and see you. I had to tell you how glad we are that your child has joined our team because…...” And they tell you in detail the character of the human being that you have raised into an adult that's adding value to the world. What does that sound like to you?  Some parents say they're generous. That this boss is saying they're generous of their time.

They don't panic when there's a problem, they help their teammate out without question. They're on time and punctual. I can count on them and honestly, they're just fun to be around.  These are just a few of the things that I hear when I run this exercise with a new parent. Do it for yourself in a time when your child is playing independently and quietly, or maybe they're napping and you really do have some quiet space.

Picture them all grown up and list off the characteristics, the value traits that you really want to instill in your person as they grow up between now and then.

This is your Parenting GPS. The vision of that all grown up person that you raised, plus the conversation that you have at the local coffee shop with their first boss, is your parenting GPS.

Can you see it?  Can you feel it? And together with our strategies and our education and our learning and our scripts, we are going to work backwards to create interactions that teach your child all of those skills that you have a deep desire for them to learn. Starting now, we've got this. We need a vision and a goal to start doing the big work.

Now, I want to hear from you if you did this exercise. In fact, I have. A 15 minute free webinar inside our virtual village, which is our private parenting community. It's free. Come on in. Watch the webinar, get your free download and do the exercises, design your GPS. And I'll be there to, to share the journey with you inside the village.