Ep. 3 The Who vs. What Factor for Raising World Ready Kids

Today's topic is one that is near and dear to my heart. It is another core inside the core four methodology.  It's the who versus what thinking that we use when we think about raising really good human beings. Think about it.

Who you are has been a really long journey to get to.

You moved from phase to stage through developmental age and those wonky teenage years, and those transition adolescence years, and your journey to self discovery has been long and worth it.

You just brought another human being into the world. They have that journey ahead of them, and this is huge, but we don't think about it that way. Think about this. People walk up to you every day and they ask you, “Oh, Hey, great to meet you”. They say, “What do you do”? And you tell them what you do and it's equivalent with who you are.

They look at your little people who are old enough to walk and talk and say, “Oh, they're so cute. What do you want to do when you grow up?” They're already 20 years in the future. What do they want to do? And they equivalate that to what they want to be. This needs to shift. It's a mental shift about who we are because everybody's born into this world with a unique nature that's all their own.

Their who-ness, I like to call it. (Nothing like the movie.)

Who you are has always been clear since the day you were born.

You can look back on your little person's first days, months, years, if you have a slightly older kid now and say, “Oh yeah, they've always been like that. Oh yes, always quick to jump in, take a risk, no fear.” Or, “Oh, my kid's the one who sits on the side of the pool. They watch, they listen, they wait and observe, and then they get in when they're good and ready.”

These natural characteristics and tendencies are just part of who we are. And so being in tune with yours and being in tune by observing your child for who they are gets you weeks ahead of most parents just by making the mental shift, because who we are clearly indicates how we interact with others and how we interact with others is the foundation for our relationship with them.

So, I ask you, I challenge you, to think about who you are.

What are the natural gifts and tendencies that you have that come really easy to you? Do you have perspective? Can you see things from multiple points of view? Do you understand why your child does what they do, even if you don't know how to deal with it?

What are your natural skills and tendencies that are hard for you? They don't come as easily, maybe empathy and compassion. They're just not hardwired in you and you have to work harder to learn those skills and to practice them in your relationship with others.  Become aware of some of your who-ness, so you can turn around and observe your child.​